This week I had a girl from the States staying with me and my family in Korhogo. It was a fun and eye opening experience. First of all, I was her TRANSLATOR!!! Please, everyone keep in mind that I didn’t know ANY French before I came. Can I just say praise God, I am learning French?! Having an outsider in my house just reminds me of how it was when I first got here and didn’t know how anything worked. Somehow, this place that was once strange and distant has become home. This is my family here. And I am proud to show them off to anyone that should happen to pass through Logokaha (my little village). I know the drill now and that feels so good. I am no longer just a visitor.
So these last couple of days has shown me how far I have come since February even. But the last sentence about not being a visitor anymore is what makes it so hard to think about where I am going. Because that brings the possibility that it might be away from here. We have begun discussing plans for next year. (Pause here to say that this year is going by sooo fast!) The leader of Journey Corps wants us to each be thinking about whether we could stay here in Cote d’Ivoire to be leaders for the next group. My first reaction was no, then it changed to maybe, and then I thought that that was something God really wanted for me. My pastor here told me that there would be an opportunity to start reaching out to a near by village to hopefully plant a church there. My heart rose, this is what I want to do! We set the date for the 28th (this Saturday) to go and make initial connections. Just a couple of days ago my pastor said that the village is really closed to having Christians come. Missionaries have been trying to get into this village for years. My heart sank. This opportunity made me think God wanted me to stay and help this get started.
Yesterday, I was missing the States. It is not that I am not happy here. I just know that so much is happening with my family and friends stateside and that is hard not to be apart of. Every time I go on facebook it seems there is a baby being born or someone getting married. The reality is that life keeps going even though I am not there….shocking right!? Today, I was reading in a book about how many times we should do the thing we are most afraid of. For me that happens to be returning to the US. I studied International Missions and that is what I am doing right now. If I go back to the States, what will I do? If I go back I have to make decisions about the future, if I stay here the decision is made for the moment. In some ways staying seems like it would just be prolonging the inevitable of returning to the States for next steps. So at this point I am thinking of returning this fall. I would love for you to be praying, though for clarity in this area. I know that God wanted me to come, but does He want me to stay?
Thank you so much for your support through this journey…it is definitely not over yet and I am thrilled to have you along with me, to debrief with and get an outside perspective. Let me know if you have any thoughts for what I could do next! I pray for you and thank God for you daily. Merci et que Dieu te benisse.